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最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

時(shí)間:2020-10-23 11:01:51 英語(yǔ)笑話(huà) 我要投稿

最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

  一個(gè)人的聰明才智會(huì)在幽默的談吐中閃光,并且會(huì)深深吸引他人。下面,小編給大家收集整理了最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà),增加幽默細(xì)胞,聰明的你一定會(huì)成為閃光點(diǎn)。

最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

  最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇一:Who is he waiting for 他在等誰(shuí)

  Two friends were having lunch at a café in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, "Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with long, blond hair?" He answered, "In the large scheme of my life, yes, but today I'm meeting my wife." 兩個(gè)朋友在紐約市汽車(chē)中心總站的一家咖啡廳里吃午飯。 他們注意到一個(gè)男人獨(dú)自坐在鄰桌。當(dāng)服務(wù)員小姐走向他時(shí),無(wú)意中聽(tīng)到她問(wèn)那個(gè)男人:“你是在等一位個(gè)子很高,很瘦,留長(zhǎng)發(fā),皮膚很白的金發(fā)女人嗎?” 那人回答說(shuō):“在我生活的長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)規(guī)劃中,我是在等。但是今天,我卻是在等我的妻子。”

  最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇二:

  Grandpa: It’s time for dinner Bao Bao. Wash up!

  Grandson (Bao Bao, 12 years old): Aw Grandpa, I don’t want rice again. Can you take me to KFC tonight? Please?

  Grandpa: I suppose so, but you’ll have to show me where it is. We’ll take the bus.

  At the counter of KFC…

  Grandpa: Why are children so crazy about chicken wings and hamburgers? What’s so good about them?

  Grandson: Hmm…hmm. Hey, I’ll take 2 chicken wings and a Coke, OK?

  At the table…

  Grandpa: Bao Bao, do you like being Chinese or do you sometimes wish you could live in America or Europe?

  Grandson: Uh, maybe America, I think the foods there are cool. Why?

  Grandpa: Well, when I was your age, I liked to go out with my parents and eat in a Chinese restaurant. We didn’t have chicken wings or the drink with bubbles. We drank tea and we had rice and traditional Chinese dishes.

  Grandson: Grandpa, I want some French fries. Can I have some?

  Grandpa: Phew…all right! Children are children after all. Bao Bao, do you know what children ate in the past? They ate spring rolls when spring was coming, glutinous rice balls during the Lantern Festival and if they behaved well, their parents would probably buy them small steamed bread made with corn flour…I can still remember the taste, that sweet…

  Grandson: I want more chicken wings, can I, Grandpa?

  Grandpa: You’ve already eaten too much of that, Bao Bao! A lot of your friends are getting fat too…you know, in the good old days, we…

  Grandson: Grandpa, pass the ketchup,‘kay?

  爺爺和孫子之間的爆笑對(duì)話(huà)

  親歷快餐

  爺爺:寶寶,該吃晚飯了,去洗洗手吧。

  孫子(寶寶,12歲):噢,爺爺,我不想吃米飯!您能帶我去吃肯德基嗎?求您啦!

  爺爺:好吧,只是你得告訴我它在哪兒。我們坐公交車(chē)去吧。

  在肯德基的柜臺(tái)前……

  爺爺:為什么孩子們?nèi)绱藷嶂杂陔u翅和漢堡呢?有什么好吃的`!

  孫子:嗯……我要兩個(gè)雞翅和一杯可樂(lè),可以嗎?

  在餐桌旁……

  爺爺:寶寶,你是喜歡當(dāng)個(gè)中國(guó)人,還是有時(shí)候會(huì)想當(dāng)個(gè)美國(guó)人或是歐洲人?

  孫子:嗯,也許想當(dāng)個(gè)美國(guó)人吧,那里的食物都很酷。為什么要問(wèn)這個(gè)?

  爺爺:喔,在我像你這么大時(shí),我喜歡跟我的父母一起去中國(guó)餐館吃飯。我們那時(shí)沒(méi)有雞翅,也沒(méi)有這種會(huì)冒泡的飲料。我們喝茶,吃米飯和傳統(tǒng)的中國(guó)菜。

  孫子:爺爺,我想吃薯?xiàng)l,行不行啊?

  爺爺:?jiǎn),好?畢竟是孩子!寶寶,你知道過(guò)去的孩子吃什么嗎?春天來(lái)了,他們會(huì)吃春卷;元宵節(jié)時(shí),他們會(huì)吃元宵。如果表現(xiàn)得好,父母還會(huì)給他們買(mǎi)玉米面做的小窩頭……我至今還記得那滋味兒,甜甜的……

  孫子:我想再要點(diǎn)雞翅,可以嗎,爺爺?

  爺爺:寶寶,你已經(jīng)吃了不少啦。你的很多朋友都變胖了。你知道嗎?在過(guò)去那些好日子里,我們……

  孫子:爺爺,把番茄醬遞給我一下!

  最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇三:Put your feet in 把腳放進(jìn)去

  The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary!" called the teacher sharply. "Yes, Madam?" questioned the pupil, "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

  一個(gè)女學(xué)生坐在座位上,嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖,腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里,被老師發(fā)現(xiàn)了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴(yán)厲地叫她。“什么事,老師?”這女學(xué)生問(wèn)。“把口香糖從嘴里拿出來(lái),把腳放進(jìn)去。”

  最幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇四:Lucky Mother

  A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"

  幸運(yùn)的母親

  一位年輕的母親認(rèn)為,世界上還有許多受饑餓的人,浪費(fèi)食物真不應(yīng)該。有天晚上,在安排幼小的女兒睡覺(jué)之前,她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油,但孩子說(shuō)她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。 母親看了女兒幾秒鐘,隨即說(shuō)道,“露茜,當(dāng)我象你一樣小的時(shí)候,總是吃面包加黃油,或者面包加果醬,從來(lái)沒(méi)有面包既加黃油又加果醬。” 露茜看了母親一會(huì)兒,眼中露出憐憫的神情,然后她柔聲說(shuō):“您現(xiàn)在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?”



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